6 a.m.

I long for other you
Unable to release
This grip
Of fingers turning blue
I act at ease
Then hide to weep
Under my skin
From hand of fate
Its painful scratch
For I have seen
Your falling state
Please stay and catch
Day's quiet cue
Please try to be
For sunrise longer
The other you
Hold on to me
Till I grow stronger
And leave behind
This place
Its dust
My lover’s mind
His fading grace
His lust

Your face
My past

Our ways part here

There is no pain equal to that which two lovers can inflict on one another. This should be made clear to all who contemplate such a union. The avoidance of this pain is the beginning of wisdom, for it is strong enough to contaminate the rest of our lives. - Cyril Connolly

I wish I could take a permanent marker and cross the last couple of days out of my life, leaving only the good memories of us. I wish I could take a highlighter and make the two weeks before that stand out, overshadowing the mistakes you made in the end.

You left for good this morning and I think it’s for better, too. My heart is screaming right now, begging for my absolute attention. It tells me that now is the time to be hurting and feeling sorry for myself. I would much rather listen to my mind though, which tells me it is time to grow stronger. I bury myself in work and I put my heart to sleep.

I won’t be mad at you or judge you in any way, although you did cause me a lot of pain the last two nights. I think you have a potential of becoming a good man, but for now your actions still reveal your youth too much. Don’t apologize to me, I knew what I was signing up for from the very beginning and I saw all your little irresponsible and immature moments along the way but I would let them slide. I did not want to concentrate on anything negative because there were many good things about you to counteract that, and I had my mind set on having two wonderful carefree weeks together.

You have been kind, open-minded and adventurous. You never hid your emotions and you made me feel special in many ways. I wish you organized your life however, and set your priorities straight. I wish you stopped trying to be a crowd-pleaser and thought about what truly makes you happy, acting upon things which you wouldn’t regret an hour later. Maybe then you’d start making the right decisions the first time around.

I had a great time with you, my sweet California boy.
Stop saying sorry and simply remember me instead.

On the same page

We talked last night, opening our hearts to each other.

The world span around you and me, our friends’ chatter and screeching of passing cars silenced by our voices, the city pausing for a moment in a small quiet alley to listen to our hearts find a common beat.

We were throwing passionate words at each other, catching them in midair, fascinated by the similarity of our thoughts, by the tragic beauty of the situation, by the light summer breeze tickling our minds, making them lightweight.

You and I have found a perfect world in each other’s arms, a world so full of life, beauty, laughter, new acquaintances and old long-lasting bonds. Our paths intertwined so quickly, every piece of the puzzle falling into place so perfectly, your friends and mine, art, music, humor, walks, sleepless nights, turning crazy ideas into life… and the rain.

Our world is meant to end abruptly one day and — aware of that — we leave no time for arguments, jealousy, misunderstanding. I wonder if any relationship would be this perfect if two people always acted as if there were no tomorrow, with only today being theirs to enjoy and live to the fullest. One perfect day at a time.

Friends and lovers

You came into my life like a light summer rain. You washed away my troubles and you helped me become myself again.

I wish this beautiful summer romance never had to end, but even knowing that it will, I am eager to take the most out of it, savoring every moment with you, every moment of you.

We have 12 days to do as we please, no regrets, no looking back, no prying into the future.

Thanks for showing up in my life and thanks for being so wonderful.