A gentle screech of the gate tells me you are here, and only the dense shrubs entangled in the darkness of the garden separate us from each other’s arms.
Your face glows in the soft light of a single candle, your eyes are smiling, you carry some food in your hand. I can’t live another second without feeling the warmth of your embrace.
We have a little picnic on the floor, eating pizza, watching movies and staring at each other as if there were no tomorrow. Sadly, there was no tomorrow.
You get up and head across the room, putting on Sade and asking me for a dance. I laugh, but you are serious, you say. And so we dance the night away, and as you hold me tight, I know you truly are my lovers rock.
When I need to be rescued
And I need a place to swim
I have a rock to cling to in the storm
When no one can hear me calling
I have you I can sing to
I wake up in the middle of the night and see you next to me, wide awake, leaning on one elbow and looking me in the eyes. You are not sleeping? – I whisper. I just like watching you sleep, you say. Are you for real? I touch your cheek, give you a smile and drift back into my dreams.
I wake up many months later, in an empty bed thousands of miles away, and I still look for your hand next to mine, for your soft hair on my cheek. I still can’t believe I pushed you away from me, even though it was the only right thing to do. My strength has turned into my weakness.
I am trying to write this book of mine and every time I sit there in a complete silence, attempting to pour my thoughts out on paper, you slowly creep into my head. I try to kick you out, but those bittersweet memories have their way of coming back time after time.
Who am I kidding, your heart was never fully mine. We hurt other people while hurting each other. I never had the guts to tell you this and now I never will, but I am hoping to finally let it go by pouring it out onto a blank page. So here it goes, I loved you madly, even though it never was the right time for us.
And in all this
And in all my life
You are the lovers rock
The rock that I cling to
You're the one
The one I swim to in a storm
Like a lovers rock
Image credit: lanka_ultra
Listening to Sade